How To Be Happy
I went to a Roman Catholic school, and as things have turned out I have now spent seven years immersing myself in a veritable ocean of texts from Buddhism, Hinduism, and Christianity. One thing that has made an indelible impression on me is the fact that all the Catholic monks (a.k.a. Brothers) whom I have personally known are some of the most cheerful beings I have ever met. (Which, incidentally, is far from the stereotypical image of them as dour, morose, guilt-ridden, and gloomy creatures.)
Over the last ten years, I have realised that I myself am much happier than most people around me; rarely do I experience the whole gamut of 'negative emotions' that wrack and twist the human soul, and never do I have the proverbial 'mood-swings'. As I have pondered on this matter at length, I have come to understand that my happiness (more of a skill than a state) ultimately stems from Eight Rules that I have unselfconsciously made my own. (The Buddha propounded an Eight-fold Path to Nirvana; the following is my Eight-fold Rule to Happiness.) Some of these rules bear an uncanny similarity to ones that my Catholic Brothers (and Sisters) themselves follow (though in a very different context and for very different theological reasons), but some of the other ones (especially Rule No 1) would probably strike them with horror!
How To Be Happy
(1) Rule No 1 : Make Hedonism the central motto of your existence. Live for pleasure. Try to crowd in as many pleasures into the short span of your life as possible : music, cinema, dance, sex, alcohol, travelling, painting, reading, poetry, cycling, skiing, rafting, and so on and so forth. If you are ever feeling 'low' just think of the next pleasure round the corner and then 'go for it'.
(2) Rule No 2 : Never be attached to food or any culinary techniques. Be prepared at all times of your life to survive on bread, water, soup, and cornflakes.
(3) Rule No 3 : Never be attached to clothes or styles of attire. Have three sets of garments, remembering that this is already excessive. Travel as light as possible, and in the ideal case (never to be attained) your body should become the only luggage you own. Never buy anything (including books) which you cannot throw away into the dustbin at thirty seconds' notice.
(4) Rule No 4 : Never be attached to your biological parents. At best, maintain a cool indifference towards them, and, if the need arises, pay for their medical insurance.
(5) Rule No 5 : Never get bogged down with biological children. Adopted children, though, are a very different kettle of fish : you are encouraged, nay urged, to adopt one of the billions of homeless street-children from anywhere in the world who is starving to death even as you are reading this sentence.
(6) Rule No 6 : Be satisfied with a few close friendships. You don't need to make the whole neighbourhood aware of your existence. Never try to 'impress' every second lad or lass who comes walking down your way. What other people think of you is their business, not yours. If you ever feel overwhelmed by the 'world', look outwards into the farthest horizon and silently meditate on these lines :
Over the last ten years, I have realised that I myself am much happier than most people around me; rarely do I experience the whole gamut of 'negative emotions' that wrack and twist the human soul, and never do I have the proverbial 'mood-swings'. As I have pondered on this matter at length, I have come to understand that my happiness (more of a skill than a state) ultimately stems from Eight Rules that I have unselfconsciously made my own. (The Buddha propounded an Eight-fold Path to Nirvana; the following is my Eight-fold Rule to Happiness.) Some of these rules bear an uncanny similarity to ones that my Catholic Brothers (and Sisters) themselves follow (though in a very different context and for very different theological reasons), but some of the other ones (especially Rule No 1) would probably strike them with horror!
How To Be Happy
(1) Rule No 1 : Make Hedonism the central motto of your existence. Live for pleasure. Try to crowd in as many pleasures into the short span of your life as possible : music, cinema, dance, sex, alcohol, travelling, painting, reading, poetry, cycling, skiing, rafting, and so on and so forth. If you are ever feeling 'low' just think of the next pleasure round the corner and then 'go for it'.
(2) Rule No 2 : Never be attached to food or any culinary techniques. Be prepared at all times of your life to survive on bread, water, soup, and cornflakes.
(3) Rule No 3 : Never be attached to clothes or styles of attire. Have three sets of garments, remembering that this is already excessive. Travel as light as possible, and in the ideal case (never to be attained) your body should become the only luggage you own. Never buy anything (including books) which you cannot throw away into the dustbin at thirty seconds' notice.
(4) Rule No 4 : Never be attached to your biological parents. At best, maintain a cool indifference towards them, and, if the need arises, pay for their medical insurance.
(5) Rule No 5 : Never get bogged down with biological children. Adopted children, though, are a very different kettle of fish : you are encouraged, nay urged, to adopt one of the billions of homeless street-children from anywhere in the world who is starving to death even as you are reading this sentence.
(6) Rule No 6 : Be satisfied with a few close friendships. You don't need to make the whole neighbourhood aware of your existence. Never try to 'impress' every second lad or lass who comes walking down your way. What other people think of you is their business, not yours. If you ever feel overwhelmed by the 'world', look outwards into the farthest horizon and silently meditate on these lines :
Lord,
My heart
Is filled with your footprints.
(7) Rule No 7 : Spend (as much as possible of) your life discussing, analysing, developing, and practising ideas. If you don't know anything on something, keep your mouth shut. If you know something, try to prove your point but never try to establish it beyond any doubt. Never try to 'win an argument' : only boxers and soldiers treat the world as their personal battle-field. If others do not take your point, don't get stuck there : simply move on to the next point, and repeat this process ad infinitum until your last dying breath.
(8) Rule No 8 : Before you die, leave a will giving away all your wealth and property to the homeless people roaming through the streets. Don't ask to be buried. Ask to be cremated and your ashes to be scattered in the wind. Go away from this world without leaving any trace (read genes) behind.
(7) Rule No 7 : Spend (as much as possible of) your life discussing, analysing, developing, and practising ideas. If you don't know anything on something, keep your mouth shut. If you know something, try to prove your point but never try to establish it beyond any doubt. Never try to 'win an argument' : only boxers and soldiers treat the world as their personal battle-field. If others do not take your point, don't get stuck there : simply move on to the next point, and repeat this process ad infinitum until your last dying breath.
(8) Rule No 8 : Before you die, leave a will giving away all your wealth and property to the homeless people roaming through the streets. Don't ask to be buried. Ask to be cremated and your ashes to be scattered in the wind. Go away from this world without leaving any trace (read genes) behind.
posted by The Transparent Ironist @ 8:15 am
6 Comments:
At 14.8.05,
Anonymous said…
Bravo!
and each time you feel saddish (i am saying this to myself) read the TI's 8 fold rule to happiness.
mi am so glad ..so so glad.
Just a thought, don't you think, feeling saddish occasinally maximises the happiness you derive later?
la dee da
ta ta
tra la la
At 15.8.05,
Anonymous said…
hey, how is rule no. 1 not a flat-out contradiction of rule no. 2?
At 15.8.05,
The Transparent Ironist said…
Because if you read Rule No 1 carefully there is no mention of food or culinary techniques anywhere in the list therein.
At 15.8.05,
Anonymous said…
not true. it may very well be subsumed in the "so on and so forth", unless you provide some caveat which paves the way for rule 2. in any case, i think rule 1 is in contradiction to rules 3, 6 and 7 as well. frankly, i think your prescription for happiness is cute, but hardly practical.
At 16.8.05,
Anonymous said…
not true. it may very well be subsumed in the "so on and so forth", unless you provide some caveat which paves the way for rule 2. in any case, i think rule 1 is in contradiction to rules 3, 6 and 7 as well. frankly, i think your prescription for happiness is cute, but hardly practical.
At 16.8.05,
The Transparent Ironist said…
They are not supposed to be 'practical' if by that you mean straightforward and unambiguous rules to live one's life by. Indeed, so far as I know, I am the only one to live according to these rules.
Moreover, these are not a priori rules but a posteriori ones. That is I did not first start with these rules one morning and then begin to live my life. It was the other way around. It was when I was pondering on why I have always been happy the last fifteen years that I realised it must be so because I have *unselfconsciously* been following these rules.
The contradiction that you point out is logical, yes, but not existential. That is, I don't feel any contradiction in following these rules, *unselfconsiously*.
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