International Dog's Day

Tomorrow April 5, 2005 is International Dog's Day, a day on which billions of dog-lovers all over the world will get together, both physically and internetically, to share their experiences of co-inhabiting a world with that most delightful creature, the Dog (a.k.a. Koochie-Koo, Gool-Sehr, and Pina-Noona). In order to mark this special occasion, the Transparent Ironist has coined three aphorisms.

(A) After God created Adam, God realised that God could do much better than that. So God created the Dog as Adam's constant companion to remind Adam how imperfect a being he was.

(B) Never trust a woman who does not adore dogs. Never trust a man who does not trust a woman who does not adore dogs. Never trust a reader who thinks that this aphorism is pure dogshit.

(C) Many men who groan that they are living a dog's life have not the faintest clue what they are talking about. For one, no dog would ever bark orders to another dog. For another, I have never heard a dog complain that his life is a bitch. Finally, no self-respecting dog would bark up the wrong tree.