Lost and/or Found in Translation

Though reading a person is not quite the same thing as reading a book (the former is usually far more difficult than the latter), there is a set of similar problems associated with both endeavors. When John makes a statement A and James takes it to mean statement B, how does James know that statement A is the 'same' as statement B? Usually, one simple way out is the 'pragmatic' solution : just wait and see what course of action John takes on the basis of statement A, and if James is observed to take a course of action on the basis of statement B that is consistent with statement A, it implies that James has (more or less) understood John. If, however, John and James undertake actions that are radically opposed to each other, it would mean that there is a serious misunderstanding between the two. Perhaps James has not been attentive enough, or has taken John's statement to mean what he did not intend it to mean. Or, perhaps, John has not been clear or communicative enough to James. In some cases, it may be possible for John and James to retrace their steps, as it were, and go back to their original statements and reflect over why and how this misunderstanding arose.

Unfortunately, however, things do not always work out as simply as this; there remains a ‘missing link’ somewhere that neither party can track down. The reason for this is that very often even when people apparently agree with each other on the surface level, there remain deep-level disagreements that are often hidden from their view. Because of our lack of patience to unearth these hidden disagreements, we often super-impose our understanding of what we think the Other should be like instead of attempting to know what the Other thinks it is really like. Consequently, we sometimes live with friends, flat-mates, neighbors and relatives for years on end, believing that we ‘know’ and ‘understand’ them completely, while in truth we live with people who are, at best, our intimate strangers.